Allowing kids to choose their passion

Last post I shared a few ideas on things to say after a practice or meet that may help the child have a positive experience. Unfortunately, many parents can make their kids experience less than fulfilling by being overly involved. Parents always mean well but it doesn’t take a lot to lay undue pressure on a young athlete, and make them feel that they may be letting you down if they don’t excel.

Young kids may be infatuated with an activity at first and then find out how difficult it is. During and immediately following the Olympics we had a bump in enrollment as every little girl wanted to be Simone.  Often then 2 things happen: 1: they imagine that they are just like Simone and are top of the world, and 2: parents want them to excel and make the imagination into reality. 

Bad news: not everyone will be a Simone. When kids start in a sport there can be 3 phases, I’ll use the Simone-Wannabe as an example:

Phase 1: The child is having fun and feels like the Olympic star.

Phase 2: The sport starts to get harder, and they may lose interest. Often the parent tries to keep the drive alive, even if the child is losing interest. At this point one of 2 things will happen in Phase 3.

Phase 3: The child either feels successful and again reignites their passion for working on skills in their sport. Or if this doesn’t happen, they need to be allowed to change their choices and try another sport that could be the right fit. And either option has to be OK.

If the child pulls back and the parent ends up wanting it more than the kid, there will be dire consequences. Not only will the child stagnate in development, but they will feel resentment toward the parent that is pressuring them to continue.   “Not my kid.” I have heard parents say on a few occasions. But I am here to tell you. Yes, your kid. Allow them to make their decision to continue or re-choose, not only for the sport development, but because your child needs to feel that they have some say in the investment of their time and effort. Allowing kids an option allows them to think critically and empowers them to make decisions for themselves. Long after the sport is over, those two skills will be necessary for a productive and happy life.